cycle of life

we had church at the "zoo" today. actually, it was the livestock research center. coincidentally, it's also the worst smelling place on the island. being the center's 50th anniversary, it was bustling with families and small children who came to enjoy the animal smells and icecream. after waving flies away for about an hour, church ended and the bbq started. menu? ostrich. the very animal that haunts the memory of my experience the last time we visited, besides the monkey that almost ripped my friend's ear off.

it was my first time to try ostrich meat. i couldn't get past the mental image of the bird itself, much less the sour flavor and beef-jerkey texture. i ate two bites- which took a total of ten minutes to chew, then handed the rest of my sandwich to my dad, who thought it was beef and enjoyed it. the bbq sauce an american girl had made and brought made the food worth eating, and dad was lucky enough to get a promise of a recipe from her.

they had turkeys there. i had no idea- for the past 6 Thanksgivings that we've been here, that there were turkeys so close. since locals rarely take a part in Thanksgiving celebrations with us, it can be safely assumed that we are in little danger of being found out if we steal a turkey for the next one. the thought crossed my mind. what else are turkeys made for, anyway? we are just a tool in helping them fulfill their life's destiny. not to mention they taste good with gravy and mashed potatoes.

i wonder what the next Thanksgiving will be like. maybe i will celebrate with the people i'll live with in Taipei, or perhaps come home, since i'd have more time to come back without the stress of HAVING to be in class all the time or missing major grade-affecting assignments. i would be happy if i never see the inside of a university-degree program class again. people always tell me that student life is so easy, and working life is much harder. i've worked before, and i've always preferred working to studying. sitting at a desk and spending all the time on my own brain instead of working with people? not my cup of tea, which in other people's opinions, seems to be half-brewed. i get annoyed with that. i am almost twenty-five years old. i know what i'm doing. i don't want to make loads of money (although it wouldn't hurt), i don't want to be in a high-ranking postition (that would hurt), i want to find something i can do and enjoy doing it. i know way too many people who love their job and the people they work with than to think i should take the first thing handed me or merely settle for a salary.

most people are not in that idealistic situation, and for some it is their own fault for not trying. because they COULD do it, but the risk is more than they can emotionally or financially deal with. or they think they could just do something because they enjoy it, not taking the time to develop the actual, meticulous skills necessary for the trade. and that is their fault. but just since they have a real salary to support their misery does not mean one should listen to their petty advice.

personal theory: look for people who you want to end up like. and take THEIR advice.

all others, the miserable ones that assume misery is an unescapable fact of life will only be able to advise in the ways that lead to where they are in life. do you want to end up like them?

i think there's always another option. the number of jobless people is lowering because of the falling economy (at least in current times). bums and hippies are usually so by choice. the people without any options are the ones who refuse to look for options. the ones who look and never find anything are the ones who refuse to SEE. the ones who see and still don't do anything are incompetent and lazy (stupid).


maybe success depends on one's definition of success. maybe some people are just better about taking whatever they do or happens and making it into something valuable.

new year

*edit*

quote of the year:

"The irony of commitment is that it’s deeply liberating – in work, in play, in love. The act frees you from the tyranny of your internal critic, from the fear that likes to dress itself up and parade around as rational hesitation. To commit is to remove your head as the barrier to your life."
~ Anne Morriss, The way I see it #76


i am currently parked on the couch watching Phineas and Ferb with Benj. it's great. even though it is the third time through the movie.

so most people like to write resolutions. i'm not into the resolution thing. so i made a to-do list in its stead. not really high priority stuff, but definitely more enriching of daily life if i do them.

- improve Chinese (not an option, it is a must)
- learn Chinese calligraphy.
- buy a surfboard.
- learn to skateboard.
- listen to the Beatles.

i also decided that i want to be a bartender. it's a cool thought, at least. that's been on my mind for a while. maybe i should just start playing around with things for fun. or maybe i'll just stick with foods, it's way cheaper.

pizza is done. dinner is therefore ready. :)

hypothermia: subnormal temperature of the body due to prolonged exposure to cold.

outside temp: 14 C / 56 F
water temp: 21 C / 69 F
distance: 1000m.
time: a lot faster than normal.

I got in the pool, noting the icy feeling of the water as I stepped off the ladder. Usually this is where I stand at the end of the pool anticipating the rush of blood and whatever else it is that goes from my toes and shoots towards my head, providing an instant wake up. Cold is normal. The rush is normal. Not lingering to feel the complete whoosh of the rush, I dove under and started the first lap. I got halfway across the pool and instead of being cold, I actually couldn't feel anything, which of course was like a false sense of warm. That feeling didn't last long. Swimming with goosebumps for the first 400 meters is normal. Swimming 800 meters with goosebumps and still freezing is not. The 9th lap felt great. The last lap I was praying I wouldn't black out. Or whatever happens when you swim too fast for too long and are freezing your toes off in very cold water for nearly a half hour straight.

Despite the sudden strange feeling of calmness and blurry feeling I got at the last lap, it felt great. In a very wake-upish and "wow, I didn't know I could swim that fast" kind of way.

Whatever people say about the water "feeling warmer if you keep moving" lost its validity. If what people say about the colder the water temp, the higher your oxygen intake...and the more oxygen intake, the smarter you'll be....then I should be a genius by sundown.

result: a high kind of buzz that should last at least through the morning.


reward: free hot shower.

skyless clouds

Sunday afternoon, I hopped the train into Taipei. Train rides always provide some entertaining means of people watching. This time the object of my attention was on a young kid, maybe 3ish, kneeling on the seat, face gazing at the blur of scenery out the window. I loved watching the kid. He was doing exactly what I would have been doing if it were my seat. What made him the most fun to watch was the occasional high-pitched hiccups that escaped his mouth, shaking his shoulders. It never phased him a bit, but cracked me up. His mom was abnormally cool. She talked, sang and played with him the whole trip, instead of constantly shushing him up, worried about what others would think. No, she began a song, then listened- and sang along- as the kid jumped in and completed the tune. It was cute. It made me miss my sister and nephew. I love watching people who interact WITH their children. My sister is amazing at that. I got off the train smiling.

I miss being around kids. A LOT. I even miss inevitably having to be "it" in every game of chase with giggling 3rd graders. Good times. :)


I fixed my skates. :):):) And officially know how to take them apart and do the necessary maintenance measures myself. With an IKEA furniture tool. Thanks to Dad for showing me how to do it when I was a kid. He is always good at showing us how to fix things. Like walls, toilets and cars.

Next week, am hoping to get out to the beach. We'll see. For some reason, I'm really excited about it. And feel sudden motivation to get studying done before then.

putting the guitar back in it's place in the corner..

"Sometimes it feels like a heart is no place to be singing from at all..."

Just really don't have much to say right now. I really, really want to go surfing.

back to the books...

school has started. it is the same, except the class load is a bit over half of what it was last semester, meaning there will be more time to keep up with the work load this time. yesss.

finally, i will have time to study Chinese. and relax. and study some more. i'd consider turning into a library junkie. a moment in the library tinted that mental image when i wasn't able to get a good wireless connection (it's usually REALLY fast). so i had to move to the local town library to check everything that needed checking.

the best guard at the apartment complex mentioned he missed us while we were gone. that made my day. he's got this grandfatherly smile that makes my day every time i drive in and out. our landlord gave us a box of pomelo. in Penghu, i got to drink a kind of beer that had pomelo juice added into it.... it takes beer from good to extra good on a hot summer day. might try mixing some myself.

battery is running low. bummer. guess it's time to quit mooching off the library's free aircon and wireless and go back to the apartment. and grab dinner and a cold drink on the way..

randomness...from the sista

Because I'm lucky . . .

to have been tagged by my sis.

1. What time did you get up this morning? 9:20

2. How do you like your steak? med-well

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?

Harry Potter (the newest one)

4. What is your favorite TV show?

don't really like watching tv..

5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be? where i live now

6. What did you have for breakfast? oatmeal and bacon

.

7. What is your favorite cuisine? SUSHI!!!! Japanese food.

8. What foods do you dislike? green peppers

9. Favorite Place to Eat? local hole-in-the-wall restautrants

10. Favorite dressing? Ceasar

11.What kind of vehicle do you drive? 100c.c scooter

12. What are your favorite clothes? denim shorts and T-shirt

13. Where would you visit if you had the chance? some beachy place in Asia, Marshall Islands

14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full? I couldn't give a flip. I have a cup, and that's all that matters.

15. Where would you want to retire? Beach.

16. Favorite time of day? around the time the sun comes up/goes down

17. Where were you born?Houma, LA

18. What is your favorite sport to watch? hockey. hands down.

19. Who do you think will not tag you back? omg, I'm so worrying about that. you have no idea..

20. Person you expect to tag you back first? I'm just waiting in pure anticipation to see who it is.

21. Who are you most curious about their responses to this? my sister. and she already answered. so my curiosity is already satisfied.

22. Bird watcher? don't you have to sit still for that??

23. Are you a morning person or a night person? Morning all the way.

24. Pets? none.

25. Any new and exciting news that you'd like to share? most ppl don't get the same kick out of the things i call good news that i do...like how I decided I want to meet an eldila.

26. What did you want to be when you were little? cowgirl, detective, CIA agent.

27. What is your best childhood memory? going with Dad to get haircut on Saturday mornings, visiting Alabama with Dad on business trips, P'cola trips

28. Are you a cat or dog person? dogggggg.

29. Are you married? nope.

30. Always wear your seat belt? yep. most of the time...

31. Been in a car accident? no, but I almost ran into my friend's van yesterday. kinda hard to stop a skateboard going down hill when you're sitting on it...

32. Any pet peeves? ha. too many to count. people who don't make effort to find a way to solve the problem before complaining about it.

33. Favorite pizza topping? pepperoni

34. Favorite Flower? i forgot what it's called. but it's really pretty...

35. Favorite ice cream? mint chocolate chip

36. Favorite fast food restaurant? Taco Bell

37. How many times did you fail your driver's test? oh, the thing where I had to make four right turns around the block with the police lady in the car? no, I did not fail that..

39. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? Target. if they had that here. or surf shop.

40. Do anything spontaneous lately? got a job working at a B&B on a tiny island. and got shaved ice with my housemate last night.

41. Like your job? LOVE it.

42. Broccoli? with cheese

43. What was your favorite vacation? Disneyworld with friends, north cali last summer

44. Last person you went out to dinner with? work people.

45. What are you listening to right now? Chinese movie

46. What is your favorite color? purple

47. How many tattoos do you have? none

48.How many are you tagging for this quiz? mm.....I'm just stressing too much to be able to decide right now....

49. What time did you finish this quiz? 2:34pm

50. Coffee Drinker? duh. I am my own barista at present.