when in Rome?

A conversation with my boss's boyfriend yesterday brought to the front of my brain some ideas that have been haunting my thoughts lately. A man had come into the B&B- an older man that has lived here for quite a while, and has been somewhat pretty successful in whatever he's turned his hand at. A few differences in communication styles (his is very Western) and personality differences have cause some friction in dealing with people, hence a dislike of him by a few people that I know. My friend's opionion on the matter (and the person) was that the person- like many foreigners here- tend to see themselves and their perspectives as being smarter, better advanced logically, and superior to the local people. An observation which is no less than accurate. I see it a lot in foreigners here. I've seen it in myself.

My best guess at one reason for this is that since we don't really completely understand the atmostphere or culture we're immersed in (much less the language), we tend to only understand our way of seeing things, and in the light of not fully understanding the Taiwanese way of thinking, just assume that their opinions are lesser develped than ours.

Funny thing is, they think the way we think is simple and childlike. We think the same about them. Actually, I think it's because both sides miss out on understanding at least part of the other's thinking, and since we don't mentally cover all that the other has thought over, we simply think they don't think at all. It's foolish really.

You know why I think most foreigners are afraid to adapt to local thinking when they travel abroad? I think they're just afraid they will lose part of their own identity and personality should they adapt to something they are not familiar with. Or they're simply not willing to look at things through someone else's perspective.

But it's made me wonder, after seeing so many situations of local-foreigner miscommunication, why do we (foreigner) insist on doing things our own way? Whose country are we in? And what makes our own way of doing things superior? They have their own way of funtioning here, and IT WORKS. Why not just do things their way? What do you lose except pride? That's basically an overrated perspective of yourself, and not worth holding onto anyway- is it? What would happen if you would just let it go and let yourself change?

I'm really curious...if you let yourself, how much would you really change? Would you actually lose your own self and identity, or merely stumble upon other perspectives or abilities you didn't know you had? Granted, a very good grip on t he language would be necessary to accomplish that change- so would an undying willingness to see things outside yourself. But would you be able to relate and funtion within the culture without losing who you really are? Would it save you that much frustration if you could distinguish between your conscience and that irritatingly ever-interrupting complaininy voice that tells you you are superior? And tell that voice to shut up and channel the negative energy towards developing a better understanding of your surroundings?

People that can go through and handle this kind of change are few and far between. But they're really cool people (at least the ones I've met). They are- for the most part- very selfless, yet seem to have never lost the essence of the self they have about themselves (personality, etc).

Just thoughts. However, the more I learn about this, the more I feel my own senses clearing and sense becomes sense again. People help- listening helps more than anything.

Funny how much a 5 minute conversation in the car can make you think.